This week, we had an opportunity to either right a peer review on someones artist conversations or download an app called somebody, so I decided to do the peer editing one. I did not do the somebody app because the app seems a little odd to me. Today, I am going to peer edit Shannelle Cruz (http://www.shannellecruz.wordpress.com) last weeks artist conversation.
After reading last weeks artist conversation, I could tell that she is a great writer, but there were some minor technical mistakes. I saw a couple of grammatical errors such added or needed commas. Another thing I noticed was that some of the words she used were misspelled. Next time she should reread it before she submits it. Lastly, I saw a run on sentence that could have been fixed. Some conceptual things I spotted was that one or two sentences of her sentences were awkward. By fixing that, she can just rearrange it. Next, I noticed her blog post for the artist conversation was just a little to short. All of her points were good, she just needs to add a little more to make it four paragraphs. Lastly, she should just make her paragraphs more in a chronological order. Finally, some conceptual things that were really good was how she had a clear understanding of what and how the artist did. She got really good information on the artist because after reading her blog, it felt like I personally talked to the artist myself. Shannelle has really good word usage. I liked how she uses big words in her writing. Lastly, I like how her blog flowed. What I mean by that is that her writing wasn’t like an essay writing, but more of a fun blog writing.
Shanelle has a good grasp of how the artist review should be like. She has a well structured format, and also has good understanding of what and how the artist did. The only big critique I have is to make sure she reads over her writing before submitting it. If she does that her blogs will be perfect. All in all, Shannelles writing has way more positive critiques, than negative ones.
After reading Shannelle’s blog, it made me realize some of my mistakes. Some technical errors I have is also the misplacements of commas. Next, I noticed that I have some grammatical errors that I should have noticed. Lastly, I noticed that I also have some run on sentences that I needed to fix. Some conceptual errors that I have is that I am such an awkward writer. Comparing my blog to Shannelles made me realize that I am such a boring writer. Next, I noticed that I should have better word usage. I feel like I am writing more of an essay than a blog. Lastly, I realized that my writing should be more fun and should be more focused on the artist. Finally, some good affects I have is how I get a clear understanding of how the format of the artist conversations should be. I write in chronological order and have at least four paragraphs. Next, I feel like I have good information on the artists that I interview. In my writings, I make sure that I get every detail of what the artist say or do. Lastly, I think my pictures are always on point.
In conclusion, I think my writing has gotten better from my first artist blog to my current one. If I just fix those minor mistakes, I think my blogs would be amazing. I just need to make my blogs a little more engaging instead of writing as if I was writing an essay. Overall my blogs are well structured and as if now, if I have clearer understanding on what to do.